Of Drought & Twitter

Posted on May 4, 2012. Filed under: OFF -BEAT, PERSONAL, POLITICS | Tags: , |

Many parts of the country have been experiencing drought like conditions for many years leading to farmer suicides.In this context, this is a completely fictional account of how our ‘beloved leaders’ and some celebrities would react to drought in their own inimitable style on one of the icons of the present day-twitter.The resemblance to the people quoted here is intentional.

1.Sonia Gandhi:It is for #drought #MNREGS is to help people dig ponds to store water.

2.Rahul Gandhi:I realize there is #drought but you must realize that ours is the only family that can fight #drought.

3.Manmohan Singh:It is to get water and remove #drought that #India needs #nuclearpower.

4.Sharad Pawar:There is no #drought.Why drink water when there are colas,diet drinks and fruit juices?

5.P Chidambaram:I want to create a national security agency to fight #drought and this team there is consensus.

6:Jairam Ramesh:The centre is giving so much money but the states are not using it properly and this is the cause of #drought.

7:Prakash Karat:The #drought is due to imperialistic conspiracy and is the symptom of the malaise under capitalism.

8.Kapil Sibal:There is #drought because most #Indians drink too much water while using #socialnetworks on the #internet.

9.Pratibha Patil:#drought? That is why I have abroad so many times, even with my grandchildren.

10.Naveen Patnaik: The #drought is due to the step-motherly attitude of the centre.The allies of #UPA are getting more water.

11.Prithviraj Chavan:What #drought? Come monsoon and you can swim on the roads of #Mumbai.

12.Vilasrao Deshmukh:I am going to give more land to builders and filmmakers for making their own water to remove #drought.

13.Akhilesh Yadav:There is #drought because the #elephants and parks of #Mayawati drank too much water.

14.Pranab Mukherji:I have addressed #drought problem in my budget speech.There is a need for supply side management.

15.Mamata Banerjee:There is no #drought,it is a Marxist conspiracy.There is so much water in the streets of #Kolkata

16.Manish Tewari:The #drought is all in the fertile imagination of a sterile mind.

17.Subramaniam Swamy:The #drought involves very powerful people and I have evidence to prove it.

18.Ram Jethmalani:I will put 10 questions everyday regarding #drought.

19.Abhishek Singhvi:#drought? Is any cd of this conversation is being made?

20.Nitish Kumar:The #drought is due to the misrule of #Lalu and #Rabri.Require another term to solve the problem.

21.Oomen Chandy:Don’t worry about #drought.There is plenty of toddy in #Kerala.

22.Narendra Modi:There is #drought everywhere except #Gujarat.Follow the teachings of Vivekananda and invite more industries to get water.

23.Kiran Kumar Reddy:There is no #drought in #Andhra due to the blessings of #SoniaGandhi.

24.YS Jagan Mohan Reddy:My father brought rains to #Andhra.With him gone, there is #drought.Make the #CM,will bring rain.

25.Sachin Tendulkar:#drought? Wait till I become 60 and score my 500th 100.

26.Amitabh Bachchan:I can speak about #drought only if the right sponsor is found.Can my family take part?

27.Aamir Khan:I am a thinking actor and need more time to say about #drought and that is the truth.

28.Anil Ambani:My father wanted to give mobiles to all so that people would spend more time talking and not worry about #drought.

29.Mukesh Ambani:My group is now digging for oil and in future I shall dig for water to solve the problem of #drought.

30.Vijay Mallya: I cannot fly my planes and you worried about #drought?Will buy more liquor stocks to quench the thirst.

31.BJP: The #drought is due to the appeasement of the minorities.

32.Baba Ramdev: The #drought is due to our #MPs.Have yoga and costly herbals to reduce the need for water

33.Team Anna:The #drought is due to corruption.#Janlokpal is the only cure.

34.Jayalalitha: The #drought is due to the misrule of #DMK

35.Montek Ahluwalia:The #drought is due to the higher demand rising from declining poverty under the #UPA.

36.Dinesh Trivedi: I wanted to increase the railway fares to fight #drought but my party won’t listen.

37.Chiranjeevi:I once danced and brought rains in the film #Indra.Will do the same to end #drought and provide #socialjustice.

38.Suresh Kalmadi: I will bring #OlympicGames to #India and the swimming pools will take care of the water scarcity.

39.A Raja:There was no #drought under #Kalaignar.Besides, I get sufficient water in jail.

40.Kanimozhi:The problem of #drought is to be addressed once people forget my role in the #2G scam.

41.Nira Radia:No one has talked to me since the tapes were released.Will dial the right people to address #drought.

42.Ratan Tata:Will have to think about a #nano solution to the problem of #drought.I leave that to my successor.

43.Barkha Dutt:The buck does not stop with me over #drought.Will host a debate to get the solution.

44.Digvijaya Singh:#drought? It is all a conspiracy hatched by the Hindu terror groups near the Batla house.

45.Mayawati:Let me enjoy the cool confines of #RajyaSabha.The #drought can take care of itself.

46.RBI: will do the tweaking of the key interest rates to remove #drought.

47.Shah Rukh Khan:My next film is titled ‘Rain-on’.There are amazing special effects in water that will solve #drought.

48.Indra Nooyi: who cares about #drought when there is #Pepsi?Bring more #FDI to reduce #drought.

49.Lalu Yadav: I am going to #Pakistan to solve the problem of #drought by creating bhai-chara.

50.Rajnikanth:Ena #drought rascals? I shall look straight into the eyes of the sky and rain will pour.

51.Common Man-Aam Aadmi: is there anyone who will provide me some water in these times of #drought?

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